Hairspray and a .45

This vacation was her idea, so she really should be enjoying it, shouldn't she?

They'd both needed to get away, and it was the Fourth of July, so she thought why not? Let's go to Miami and hide out while Michael does...whatever he does...over in Coral Gables for the day. He knew a guy who knew a guy who was willing to let the two of them lie next to "the largest freshwater pool in Miami" for the price of a few tropical drinks. She should be having the time of her life while she avoids burning to death under the summer sun.

But it's nagging and clawing at her, and damn it, she needs to address it for once and for all.

Obviously, the best way to do this would be to shake him awake from of one of his burger-and-beer comas.

Lipstick and Dynamite: A Sam Axe/Clementine Johnson fanmix
1: Crush With Eyeliner - REM - "I know you've seen her - she's a sad tomato - she's three miles of bad road." Ridiculously Clementine.

2: Son of a Sailor - Jimmy Buffett - "I'm not a lawyer, a theif or a banker" - Sam Song!

3: Beautiful Stranger: Madonna - "To Know You Is To Love You" - Clementine in love with an international man of mystery, only she doesn't know it yet.

4: Love Somebody: Rick Springfield - "You're a tough little sister, but you'll settle for Mr. Tonight...on the wrong side of town... - Tough little Clemmie, who better choose soon.

5: Hey Soul Sister - Train: "And I'm always gonna want to blow your mind. - Giddy first moments of Love.

6: 1983: Neon Trees: "I've been here looking dynamite, alone against the wall - girls like you give it oh so cool talking cheap in a bathroom stall - and - They're never growing up.

7: Valerie: Amy Winehouse -"Since I've come home, well my body's been a mess - and I miss your ginger hair and the way you like to dress..." Just forgive me that one name in the chorus.

8: You and I (Florida Version): Lady Gaga "You taste like whiskey when you kiss me/oh I'd give anything again to be your babydoll/this time I'm not leaving without you" - Clementine putting her feet on Sam's bar.

9: Close To You - The Carpenters "That is why all the girls in town follow you all around..." Clementine-style adoration - even if Sam doesn't have blue eyes.

10: Baby, It's You: The Shirelles "You should hear what they say about you...They say you ain't never, never never been true..." - Sepparation Angst

11: Thing Called Love: John Hiatt "Before Laws God and man I vow to take you as my wife/To Love, Honor, Cherish and Obey/No, I didn't have no plans to live this kinda life/it just worked out that way" - They ain't no icons carved out of stone.

12: Here, There and Everywhere: Emmylou Harris "To Lead a Better Life, I need my love to be here." ultimate themesong for them, TBH.

13: Devoted to You: Carly Simon and James Taylor "Darlin' you can count on me/'Til the sun dries up the sea..."

14: All The Lovers Must Be Missing an Angel (Kylie Minogue Vs Tavares - MattPop Mix) All The Lovers/That Have Come Before/They Don't Compare/To You - Self-explanitory.

Title: Married Name
Parts: 1 of 1
Author: Missy AKA rise_your_dead
Fandom: Burn Notice/Reno911!
Pairing/Characters: Sam Axe, Clementine Johnson; Sam/Clem
Rating/Category: PG; Humor
Spoilers: General Millicanon
Summary: Clementine tries out her possible married name.
Disclaimer: Not mine; belongs to Matt Nix, Fox, USA, Comedy Central, Wendi McClendon-Covey and all of their sundry operating arms.
Notes/Warnings: I couldn’t help myself, really.

( *** )

Under different circumstances, Clementine would have been thrilled to be sitting next to Jones in her underwear. But at the moment - surrounded by the rest of her colleagues in a room at the medical examiner's office, waiting for the results of their MDT's - she was bored as all hell. She'd read the brochure in her hand preaching the importance of keeping America drug-free six times in a row. Since the alternative was listing to Trudy talk about her new kitten, she kept her eyes down.

When she saw the ME enter with their results, she suddenly sat up alertly. She'd suddenly remembered last Saturday. Shit...

She blathered out a lie to doctor Barnes about having busted up a party with 'a lot of THC in it.' She figured this might stall him, keep him from asking any questions.

He brushed her worries off with a smile - it seemed she had just a trace amount of THC in her urine. But she should be careful. Considering her pregnancy.

Her brain and mouth provided an instant denial. "No, that's not possible."

The doctor gave her a "Not to be indiscreet, but what were you doing seven weeks ago?"

Her mind was wiped perfectly blank by the shock. Beside her she heard Raineesha laughing, congratulating her. Clem's voice somehow came out, stronger than she felt.

"No."

Raineesha had five kids who drove her crazy, of course she was happy to shepherd someone into the flock sarcastically. "Welcome to motherhood!"

"...No, don't say that..."

Clem's mind was going a mile a minute. The possibilities were simpler than everyone assumed - because she'd dumped Steed, the candidates were narrowed to two, a couple of one-night stands she'd had awhile back. But the men she liked most in her life were clearly out of range

But the lives that could be wrecked by this were innumerable. She and Jones were too casual to work out anything permanent. She and Arthur - as wonderful as they had been - were a one-night thing, too. She hadn't even seen him since she slept with him.

Her thoughts turned toward Charlie again...God, he was such a nice guy. The One; she knew it, would make it so. They hadn't even slept together yet. Would he be willing to help her raise some other guy's kid? Was it even fair of her to ask?

She slunk down and into herself, thinking deeply. She had been so very sure of herself! Blindly, she walked to her locker and mechanically dressed. With the rest of her co-workers busy on the duty roster, she had enough time to sneak away and into Milliways. She's on autopilot when she enters the bar...